Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Things I’ve Said This Pregnancy

I’m entering month nine  and can’t wait to meet the little guy who has been keeping me up at night… so he can keep me up some more, in person.

Until then, here are some of the things I’ve found myself saying over the past eight and a half months:

  1. “Oh, so these are cankles”
  2. “I’m hungry” – Usually heard between the hours of 2 a.m. and 11 p.m.
  3. “Excuse me, where’s your restroom?” Every damn day
  4. “My child will never – (insert the atrocious behavior my child will most certainly do in two years) – .”
  5. “I definitely need this diaper wipe warmer”
  6. 1 p.m.: “I love feeling the baby kick!” 3 a.m.: “STOP KICKING!”
  7. “Hmmmm, should I wear yoga pants, leggings or sweats today?”
  8. “Help me up?” Every damn day
  9. “I can’t see my feet!”
  10. “WAAHHHHHHHH” – Always accompanied by tears, usually brought on by a 30 second TV commercial.
  11. “It’s all about balance.” while pinning pregnancy workouts and eating fistfuls of candy corn.
  12. “Can you tie my shoes for me?”
  13. “There should be pregnant parking spots here.” Mumbled anywhere there is a parking lot.
  14. “Arhhh, Guhhh, Rghhh…” Noises made when attempting to adjust positions.
  15. Donuts really should be their own food group.”
  16. “I think I could do a natural birth.” – watches delivery video – “How soon after I go into labor can I get an epidural?”
  17. “Can I get some extra pickles please?”
  18. “OK, so I guess I waddle now.
  19. “Do you think they allow wine in the hospital recovery room?”

One more month!




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